Holidays on Ice

Okay, I'm going to keep it funky: I hate Christmas. I hate having large amouts of family milling around, I hate getting presents for everyone, and I hate all the pressure for everyone to be festive. I mean, seriously. Lets break it down a little:

1) Infants don't care about Christmas. They care about titties, and shitting. Sophie could give a rat's ass that we brought a tree inside.

2) Speaking of which, bringing a tree inside is a pagan thing, not a christmas thing. Have fun worshipping the earth, you fuckin' Satanist.

3) Speaking of God and the Devil, why do we celebrate Jesus' birthday by sticking wrapped gifts under a tree? We are celebrating post WWII consumerism. Christmas is a truly manufactured American holiday, designed to get people to buy things.

So what's the big fucking deal? How come, despite my bah humbug kinda attitude (which I suspect many of you share), I still feel like I have to participate in all this? It's because of the media.

Stupid Dickens. Stupid Jimmy Stewart. Stupid rabbit named Harvey. Stupid movie where they have to do something with the sleigh. Stupid movies and tv which brainwash us into a stressful shopping frenzy every year, when we could just be with one another.

That said, I would just die for a Motorola Razor.

Again, Merry Christmas.