Language or communication
What is it that drives an otherwise realistic human being to think that they have what it takes to be a creator of something? Or, another way of thinking of it: What are people who attempt to create something really trying to do? I sit down at my computer every morning, and type away. I have for almost two years now. I've written one and a half screenplays, numerous short stories, one novella (read: aborted novel), and am currently banging out a full length novel.
Now I could tell you that I just do this for the pleasure of writing. I could talk about how it is a stimulant, and the act of writing is meditative, and that it feels like tapping into some kind of source code, to play with language. I could say all of those things. And I would be lying.
The real reason that I write, and that I wanted to act, back when I was slightly more filled with cum, is that I want to present myself to the world, and I want the world to respond back with a resounding "YES."
Now, this is by no means news to anyone. My one and only reader, Mike White, could tell you that I have been an insecure egomaniac since I was a child. But here's the thing: My insecure egomania drives me to create, and sometimes (albiet not often) the result is a fairly serviceable, if not clunky, piece of art.
Right now, I am reading "Oryx and Crake" by Margret Atwood, and it is good. Sickeningly good. Too good, because I realized that there is no way, under any circumstances that I will ever be that good. On the other hand, it is inspiring to see that kind of effortless command of language: She waltzes into the normally ackward land of science fiction, and makes it a goddamned literary EVENT. She weaves story together through intricate flashbacks, all the while making you desperate to find out just what the fuck happened to Snowman.
And then I realized something. All of the best novels I have ever read-- the ones that really made me think, or cry, or laugh, or do three all at once... they didn't have even one blowjob in them.
You might see this as evidence that I am out of my league. "Well," you might say, "it's clear that this hack has to resort to cheescake porn, and violence to get his point across." And to that, I offer you a quote from one of my generation's most profound poets:
"Will Smith doesn't need to cuss in his records. Well, I do. So fuck him, and fuck you, too."
Now I could tell you that I just do this for the pleasure of writing. I could talk about how it is a stimulant, and the act of writing is meditative, and that it feels like tapping into some kind of source code, to play with language. I could say all of those things. And I would be lying.
The real reason that I write, and that I wanted to act, back when I was slightly more filled with cum, is that I want to present myself to the world, and I want the world to respond back with a resounding "YES."
Now, this is by no means news to anyone. My one and only reader, Mike White, could tell you that I have been an insecure egomaniac since I was a child. But here's the thing: My insecure egomania drives me to create, and sometimes (albiet not often) the result is a fairly serviceable, if not clunky, piece of art.
Right now, I am reading "Oryx and Crake" by Margret Atwood, and it is good. Sickeningly good. Too good, because I realized that there is no way, under any circumstances that I will ever be that good. On the other hand, it is inspiring to see that kind of effortless command of language: She waltzes into the normally ackward land of science fiction, and makes it a goddamned literary EVENT. She weaves story together through intricate flashbacks, all the while making you desperate to find out just what the fuck happened to Snowman.
And then I realized something. All of the best novels I have ever read-- the ones that really made me think, or cry, or laugh, or do three all at once... they didn't have even one blowjob in them.
You might see this as evidence that I am out of my league. "Well," you might say, "it's clear that this hack has to resort to cheescake porn, and violence to get his point across." And to that, I offer you a quote from one of my generation's most profound poets:
"Will Smith doesn't need to cuss in his records. Well, I do. So fuck him, and fuck you, too."
posted by Dr. Sun Si Miao at 6:35 AM
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