design porn

I got an iPhone for Christmas. Oh, sweet mother... it is so beautiful. I played with my father-in-law's phone for hours, dicking around with the maps feature, looking at all my rss feeds, all that sweet stuff, and it just made me feel whole again, y'know? Like my life meant something. So we all came up with a plan for Xmas: Andrea would get a new sewing machine (she makes kickass bibs, by the way, and made as much as I did last month selling them at three different locations in town), which her mom, dad, and I would pay for. I would get the iPhone, which she and her parents would all kick in for. Sounded like a good plan, but then December hit, and somehow, December always makes sweet love to my ass financially. Somehow, I always get in the red this time of year, and there is just NO extra money. So I said to Andrea: "Listen... No iPhone. We can't afford it." She said, "Okay." I insisted, however, that she get her sewing machine, since it looked like one hell of a sound investment. She can sell her bibs, and I'll sit out by the pool drinking mojitos.

Of course Christmas came, and after a prolonged stint in the emergency room with her mother who ate some nasty seafood salad, I got my iPhone.

So of course I am, like, almost on the verge of an orgasm. And what happens? Naturally, I don't have the newest operating system on my Mac, and I can't use it. So we wait until I see my next two patients, and then I run right to the store and pick up whatever apple's newest cat-named OS is. Whatever. I waited this long, I can wait another two days.

But Christ the thing is pretty.

Anyway, business is actually pretty good, and I am both reading and writing a lot.

Here are a few books and new writers to check out:

"The Girl Next Door" by Jack Ketchum: Okay, this is NOT for the faint of heart. It is rough. Really rough. I picked it up because Stephan King said to, and I get that that makes me a fanboy, and possibly even a homosexual, but I'm okay with that. I started reading it at seven thirty in the evening. I finished it at two o'clock the next day. Three hours of sleep and the bare minimum of chores in between. It is really unpleasant, that's all I have to say about it. Check it out.

"The Road" by Cormac McCarthy: I hadn't read any of this fella's books, despite (or perhaps because of) him being widely considered the best living author today. I picked up "The Road" and I finished it in about two days. Made me cry, and reminded me of my father. At the same time, it was a badass postapocalyptic adventure. Good stuff, and the writer gets every last bit of acclaim. He is scary good.

"Diary" by Chuck Palahniuk: I didn't like this as much as I liked "Lullaby," but it was entertaining enough. A woman is linked to the fate of an island through only the wierd set of incidents that a sick fuck like this guy can come up with. Typical use of language from him as well: Lots of repeated phrases, and weirdness for the sake of it, but definitely fun to read.

"Anansi Boys" by Neil Gaiman: Definitely better than American Gods. Story is both funny and interesting. Never gets too lost in all the quasi-mythical jargon that makes Gaiman a little inaccessable to me. Even my wife loved it.

"Dune." Yeah, you've all read it. I'm reading it again. Deal with it.